(What happens when generations grow up drenched in liberal thinking and political correctness. Poor kids.)

From: https://shorturl.at/29dLA (nypost.com)

===
The young and the dateless: Why Gen Z, millennial men aren't approaching
women anymore

By Asia Grace
Published Jan. 6, 2026, 2:55 p.m. ET

Like many American men of his generation, Ryan Kessler, 28, is
terrified of talking to women.

But it's not a lack of smarts or swag that makes the single
Manhattanite hesitant to approach women out in the wild. It's the fear
of being mistaken as a toxically macho, boneheaded creep.

Kessler told The Post that when trying to win over a potential love
interest, the last thing he wants is to be considered a jerk who makes
ladies cringe rather than swoon with a clumsy pickup line and unwelcome
advances.

"I never want to make the other person feel uncomfortable, and l want
to be respectful," the cybersecurity analyst told The Post. "Some girls
don't want to be approached at all. So, I'm always trying to err on the
side of caution."

As a result, Kessler said these days his "interactions with women are
very few and far between," although he is on the hunt for his happily
ever after. "I want to find `the one.'"

Kessler considers himself a good guy but still has difficulty, at
times, mustering up the courage to approach New York women at coffee
shops, bookstores or even subway platforms.

"I don't want to bother them," the wannabe loverboy said, conceding
that he's not as timid when it comes to making the first move on dating
apps, such as Bumble or Hinge. Singles are on there to be digitally
approached, yet "a lot of the time, in person, [women] are not there to
be approached, so it's kind of odd," the 28-year-old pointed out.

@ryankess

Approaching girls in public challenge day 1. #dating #flirting
#futurewife
d=d original sound - Ryan

Not wanting to come off as pushy is a concern shared by nearly half of
single men in the US who grapple with "approach anxiety," per a 2025
report.

Researchers determined that "perceptions of being labeled as `creepy'
significantly impacted American men's willingness to interact with
women, and 44% of 1,000 men reported that this fear reduces their
likelihood of initiating contact."

It's an unfortunate trend that seems to clash with what the majority of
single ladies actually want. Seventy-seven percent of women between 18
and 30 -- and 68% between 30 and 40 -- hope to "be approached more,"
according to the insights.

If anything, Liv, a 20-something and part-time Long Islander, has the
"utmost respect" for men her age who summon the spirit to appropriately
and politely make a pitch for her heart, "because it's so admirable, in
this day and age, to actually have the nerve and the kahunas to go and
do that," she said in a social media clip.

However, men still need to tread lightly when doing so.

"The problem is, a lot of men pursue women knowing that that woman is
not interested in them," said lifestyle content creator Viv in a
trending vid.

"I cannot tell you how many times I had been diplomatic and respectful
[while declining a man's advances], and it has led to me being
borderline harassed ... I've had [men] follow me, I've had a man grab
me," she added.

Connell Barrett, a 14-year New York City dating coach, stands behind
how Viv, and most women, feel.

"Respect does not mean retreat. The single, straight man should still
lead the dating dance in the courtship phase to a certain extent,"
Barrett told The Post. "Women aren't saying, `Don't come talk to us.'
They're saying, `Don't objectify, harass or disrespect us.'"

Since rejection is another fear that young single men face, Barrett,
whose clientele largely consists of heterosexual men under 35, suggests
they ditch the mental gymnastics of "what if" and instead approach
women with grace rather than angst.

"Adopt a new mindset. You're looking for love, which is very human," he
said. "It's OK to say `Hello' to women out in the world, as long as you
do it with the right measure of empathy and charm."

However, it seems the sweet, charming route might not always be the
best option, at least according to Grant Greenly, a 24-year-old actor
and model, who has taken this approach -- both in person and on dating
apps like Hinge and Raya -- to no avail.

Now, the Texas native is completely done with wooing would-be sweeties
altogether.

"I'm never doing it again, and I mean that. I don't care how it impacts
my dating life," Greenly told The Post. "Approaching women today isn't
worth the hassle."

For Greenly, the final straw was a recent attempt to say, "Hi. How are
you?" to a looker who immediately shut him down with a cold,
disapproving look, followed by an "Eww. Who are you?" response from
another single woman he attempted to chat up at a club.

@greenlyentertainment

Im never approaching a woman in public again if they want it that
bad they will come to me
d=d original sound - GrantGreenly

"Dating is not like how it was back in the day. Our dads didn't have to
worry about phones and computers warping people's minds," he groaned.
"Nowadays, guys, including the ones who aren't creeps, get posted
online as a joke when they ask a woman out on a date.

"There's this deluded idea that all men are out to get women, no matter
what."

As a result, the Southwestern gent said if he's ever going to meet the
girl of his dreams, she's going to have to make the first move.

"I don't see anything wrong with the notion that women should approach
men for dates," he said, citing gender equality as the basis of his
position. "I know there's the argument that `Men used to go to war.'
But now, women go to war, so why can't they do the approaching?"

Levi McCachen, 37, backs up this belief, thinking it's time for women
to step up to the romantic plate.

"I recently went out, and a woman who wasn't the type of girl I
typically go for opened up a conversation with me. It was great, and I
got her number," McCachen, a stand-up comedian and podcaster, told The
Post. "I thought it was awesome that she did the approaching."
Levi McCachen on stage speaking into a microphone. 3
Levi McCachen (above) says he's stopped approaching women, leaving
himself open to only the bold belles who approach him while out and
about. Levi McCachen

"If you go up and say anything to a guy you think is cute, he's going
to be, like, `Holy s-t, this is the boldest woman I ever met in my
life,'" added the Canadian.

The professional funny man and podcaster reiterated his call to action
online, saying, "Men, we need to stop approaching women altogether.
Women, it's your turn."

@levimccachen

Boys, huddle up, we're gonna have to work together on this one.
Ladies, lean in. Would love to hear your thoughts. #datingadvice
#datingtips #dating #relationships
d=d original sound - Levi McCachen

"I was taught that if I walk into a room of 100 women, 99 aren't going
to be into me," he added. "But one of them will be, and she'll let me
know it.

"All I have to do is not f-k that up."
===

-- Sean

... "A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice." - E.E. Howe
--- MultiMail/Linux
* Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)

Hello Sean!

** On Thursday 15.01.26 - 17:51, you wrote to All:

===
The young and the dateless: Why Gen Z, millennial men
aren't approaching women anymore

"I'm never doing it again, and I mean that. I don't
care how it impacts my dating life," Greenly told
The Post. "Approaching women today isn't worth the
hassle."

Maybe someone like that just needs to review their style and
approah - and not necessarily blame the woman.

Im never approaching a woman in public again if they
want it that bad they will come to me d=d original
sound - GrantGreenly

Again, maybe the problem is the style of approach.

For Greenly, the final straw was a recent attempt to
say, "Hi. How are you?" to a looker who immediately shut
him down with a cold, disapproving look, followed by an
"Eww. Who are you?" response from another single woman
he attempted to chat up at a club.

We're probably not getting the "full" story. And.. maybe his
approach *was* rather "creepy".



--
../|ug

--- OpenXP 5.0.64
* Origin: (618:400/23.10)

For Greenly, the final straw was a recent attempt to
say, "Hi. How are you?" to a looker who immediately shut
him down with a cold, disapproving look, followed by an
"Eww. Who are you?" response from another single woman
he attempted to chat up at a club.

We're probably not getting the "full" story. And.. maybe his
approach *was* rather "creepy".

Based on those responses, it sounds like women today maybe have not changed
as much as maybe the men have.

Mike


* SLMR 2.1a * So many messages ... So little time left.
--- SBBSecho 3.28-Linux
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Like many American men of his generation, Ryan Kessler, 28, is

> terrified of talking to women.

But it's not a lack of smarts or swag that makes the single

> Manhattanite hesitant to approach women out in the wild. It's the fear
> of being mistaken as a toxically macho, boneheaded creep.

Wow.. I'd never have had a date before my mid 20's if women didn't
like macho boneheads.. B)

After your mid 20's they are more interested in your income..

---
* SLMR Rob * By God, for a moment there it all made sense!
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Rob Mccart wrote to SEAN DENNIS <=-

After your mid 20's they are more interested in your income..

Indeed. Around here, it's either flighty uni students, older females who want men with money and Brad Pitt looks, or someone to take care of them and
their five kids.

I will never, ever use online dating again.

-- Sean

... I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
--- MultiMail/Linux
* Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)

For Greenly, the final straw was a recent attempt to
say, "Hi. How are you?" to a looker who immediately shut
him down with a cold, disapproving look, followed by an
"Eww. Who are you?" response from another single woman
he attempted to chat up at a club.

We're probably not getting the "full" story. And.. maybe his

>> approach *was* rather "creepy".

Based on those responses, it sounds like women today maybe have not changed

>as much as maybe the men have.

Something that surprised me is my niece, who has kids and is a teacher
so sees a lot of kids, says that they are maturing more slowly today
than in the past.

With so much online stuff available I'd have thought the opposite
but she insists it's true. That came up when I mentioned I was
trying to get ahold of Nudie magazines back when I was 12..

By 14 I was trying to get ahold of Nudie girls.. B)

---
* SLMR Rob * Necrophilia means never having to say...well, anything...
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Hello Rob!

** On Sunday 18.01.26 - 09:20, you wrote to MIKE POWELL:

Something that surprised me is my niece, who has kids and is a teacher
so sees a lot of kids, says that they are maturing more slowly today
than in the past.

Slowly physically? ..or mentally?

I heard/read that kids are reaching puberty much more early in life.

With so much online stuff available I'd have thought the opposite
but she insists it's true.

Yes.. that stuff could ill-prepare kids mentally.

That came up when I mentioned I was
trying to get ahold of Nudie magazines back when I was 12..

That topic entered my purview commencing grade 6/7.

By 14 I was trying to get ahold of Nudie girls.. B)

It's our bodies tellings us to "reproduce, reproduce!"

--
../|ug

--- OpenXP 5.0.64
* Origin: (618:400/23.10)

After your mid 20's they are more interested in your income..

Indeed. Around here, it's either flighty uni students, older females who wan

>men with money and Brad Pitt looks, or someone to take care of them and
>their five kids.

I will never, ever use online dating again.

I can understand that. Way back before it was all online I tried out
a dating service, and they hooked me up with such totally wrong women
for me I quit after the first couple of dates. Fortunately I only paid
half the fee up front for a 30 day trial so I didn't lose as much money.

I was an avid hiker, often riding a motorcycle many miles to areas
with good hiking trails and then walk 10 or 15 miles on a Saturday.

..and the first woman they hooked me up with had major back problems
and could barely walk across the parking lot.

The second lady I picked up in an older car in good shape for a
daytime drink meeting and she, seeing my car, very quickly let me
know that she was looking for someone who could buy her a house
and take care of her, so she didn't want to 'waste her time'..

I smiled and said it was nice meeting her.. and then I drove home
to the house I'd owned for 7 years where I had a motorcycle that
was worth 10 times what my temporary car was worth while I waited
for my new Thunderbird to come into the dealership..

First impressions ? B)

---
* SLMR Rob * Maybe this world is another planet's hell
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Something that surprised me is my niece, who has kids and is a teacher
so sees a lot of kids, says that they are maturing more slowly today
than in the past.

Slowly physically? ..or mentally?

Mentally, just not interested in sex as young as they used to be.

I heard/read that kids are reaching puberty much more early in life.

Yes, I've heard that too and you'd think that would have the opposite
affect on their 'mentality'..

With so much online stuff available I'd have thought the opposite
but she insists it's true.

Yes.. that stuff could ill-prepare kids mentally.

I'd expect that porn available at a younger age would make kids
want to explore earlier as well. But.. my father used to leave
his Playboy magazines in a living room magazine rack with all
the other types of magazines, and they didn't say too much if I
were looking through them. I think my father figured you wouldn't
do anything stupid if you knew what all the fuss was about..

That came up when I mentioned I was
trying to get ahold of Nudie magazines back when I was 12..

That topic entered my purview commencing grade 6/7.

Yes, same here.

By 14 I was trying to get ahold of Nudie girls.. B)

It's our bodies tellings us to "reproduce, reproduce!"

Originally the human lifespan was only about 17 years so nature
had to get you going pretty early.. No one has thought to reset
that these days though when we live a little longer than that.. B)

---
* SLMR Rob * Women are like programs... A smart man keeps a backup!!
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Re: Too scared to date
By: Sean Dennis to All on Thu Jan 15 2026 05:51 pm

(What happens when generations grow up drenched in liberal thinking and political correctness. Poor kids.)

From: https://shorturl.at/29dLA (nypost.com)

===
The young and the dateless: Why Gen Z, millennial men aren't approaching anymore

I don't think it is that people is scared of social consequences as much as there is not anything to gain from getting involved in serious relationships, and increasingly more to lose.

Frankly, how many women would want to live with a farm guy whose idea of fun is canning vegetables? And of those, how many are actually worth the time of the farm guy?

That is the real problem, these days so many women aspire to live the Instagram lifestyle and if providing that to them does not fit your schedule they will dump you as soon as they find somebody who will.

My experience is that people who is not approaching girls are people who is conscious of this at some level and they are not willing to sell out for pussy. I know of an extreme case in my inner social circle: young man with well paid IT job, his own house (which is huge here) and an active life... he is one of the few men women are willing to ask out actively. He usually answers with a rude version of "I am not interested" (my favorite is "Not with you, space bug!") When we talk about the subject he is very clear that he is not willing to bend his life goals around a girlfriend.

And that is the problem. When you are at the top 15% a girlfriend represents a huge opportunity cost because the time you spend with her is time you are not growing your finances AND you are also risking your finances very badly at the same time. If your lifestyle requires a very specific person to enjoy you are also guaranteed not to get the gal you like no matter how much you are willing to bend so there is no point.



--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
--- SBBSecho 3.34-Linux
* Origin: Palantir * palantirbbs.ddns.net * Pensacola, FL * (618:250/24)

Arelor wrote to Sean Dennis <=-

And that is the problem. When you are at the top 15% a girlfriend represents a huge opportunity cost because the time you spend with her
is time you are not growing your finances AND you are also risking your finances very badly at the same time. If your lifestyle requires a very specific person to enjoy you are also guaranteed not to get the gal you like no matter how much you are willing to bend so there is no point.

He will learn later in his life that money and career are both cold comforts
as will more recent generations who were not common sense nor critical thinking.

I posted the article as moire of something that made me chuckle to see how backasswards the world has become. I feel sorry for those young kids who
can't figure their way out of a wet paper bag.

That and it's young people in New York City...a special kind of stupid.

-- digi <8D~

... "A page of history is worth a volume of logic." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
--- MultiMail/Linux
* Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)

Re: Re: Too scared to date
By: digimaus to Arelor on Sat Jan 24 2026 05:45 pm

He will learn later in his life that money and career are both cold comforts as will more recent generations who were not common sense nor critical thinking.

Well, the point is if you DO try to bend your life around a girlfriend, you are likely to end up without the girlfriend plus all the resources you poured into the relationship. This is not me saying it, it is me noticing what happens to people around me.

Money does not bring happyness but if you are gonna cry, it is much better to cry in a Ferrari.


--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
--- SBBSecho 3.34-Linux
* Origin: Palantir * palantirbbs.ddns.net * Pensacola, FL * (618:250/24)

Hello Arelor!

===
The young and the dateless: Why Gen Z, millennial men aren't approaching
anymore

I don't think it is that people is scared of social consequences as much
as there is not anything to gain from getting involved in serious relationships, and increasingly more to lose.

Nah.. There's Club Med for those who think like that. Hedonism, fun for a short while, but not satisfying as a long-term strategy.

Eventually, we all muse about the meaning of life - and the pursuit of money at the expense of fostering close relationships is pretty low for most. The paths we take and how we get there is different for each of us.

Frankly, how many women would want to live with a farm guy whose idea of fun is canning vegetables? And of those, how many are actually worth the time of the farm guy?

I've plenty of women posting farm-life vids.

That is the real problem, these days so many women aspire to live the Instagram lifestyle and if providing that to them does not fit your schedule they will dump you as soon as they find somebody who will.

Intagram/YT do not preclude documenting the "joys" of farm/rural life. :D Lots of people are doing it.

My experience is that people who is not approaching girls are people who
is conscious of this at some level and they are not willing to sell out
for pussy. I know of an extreme case in my inner social circle: young man with well paid IT job, his own house (which is huge here) and an active life... he is one of the few men women are willing to ask out actively. He usually answers with a rude version of "I am not interested" (my favorite is "Not with you, space bug!") When we talk about the subject he is very clear that he is not willing to bend his life goals around a girlfriend.

OK..that's one guy. And there's probably something else that irks him to be in a long-term committed relationship. Meanwhile the persuit of money is a fine excuse.

And that is the problem. When you are at the top 15% a girlfriend represents a huge opportunity cost because the time you spend with her is

So.. does the guy above have a gf?

time you are not growing your finances AND you are also risking your finances very badly at the same time. If your lifestyle requires a very specific person to enjoy you are also guaranteed not to get the gal you like no matter how much you are willing to bend so there is no point.

A gf is not marriage. The expenses are easier controlled in a non-committed relationships. If the cost gets excessive (which would actually be the guy's fault, not the girl's) ..you can just dump the person.

--
../|ug

--- OpenXP 5.0.64
* Origin: (618:400/23.10)

Hello Rob!

** On Monday 19.01.26 - 08:18, Rob Mccart wrote to SEAN DENNIS:

After your mid 20's they are more interested in your income..

I will never, ever use online dating again.

I can understand that. Way back before it was all online I tried out
a dating service, and they hooked me up with such totally wrong women

[...]

I was an avid hiker, often riding a motorcycle many miles to areas
with good hiking trails and then walk 10 or 15 miles on a Saturday.

..and the first woman they hooked me up with had major back problems
and could barely walk across the parking lot.

I'm surprised that they got the "match" wrong especially when you mentioned those "avid" outdoor activities.

The second lady I picked up in an older car in good shape for a
daytime drink meeting and she, seeing my car, very quickly let me
know that she was looking for someone who could buy her a house
and take care of her, so she didn't want to 'waste her time'..

Was she so bold as to say "waste her time"?

Let's face it, first dates, first impressions, *do* make a difference. Maybe you should have rented a vehicle! <g> Anyway.. looks like you weren't a keeper for your own sake, and your vehicle betrayed you! :D

I smiled and said it was nice meeting her.. and then I drove home
to the house I'd owned for 7 years where I had a motorcycle that
was worth 10 times what my temporary car was worth while I waited
for my new Thunderbird to come into the dealership..

So.. did you even have drinks and a worthwhile chat together?

--
../|ug

--- OpenXP 5.0.64
* Origin: (618:400/23.10)

Hello Arelor,

24 Jan 26 19:03, you wrote to digimaus:

Well, the point is if you DO try to bend your life around a
girlfriend, you are likely to end up without the girlfriend plus all
the resources you poured into the relationship. This is not me saying
it, it is me noticing what happens to people around me.

You still have to put your needs first even if in a relationship.

Money does not bring happyness but if you are gonna cry, it is much
better to cry in a Ferrari.

True.

-- Sean

... I hate it when I wish upon a star only to realize it was just an airplane. --- GoldED+/LNX 1.1.5-b20240209
* Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)

Frankly, how many women would want to live with a farm guy whose idea of fun i
canning vegetables? And of those, how many are actually worth the time of the farm guy?

If YT and other services are to be believed, there are several women out
there who are into canning veggies and other homesteading activities. I suspect that all of them are also married already, though. ;)

Mike


* SLMR 2.1a * I didn't do it nobody saw me you can't prove anything!
--- SBBSecho 3.28-Linux
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Hello Mike,

25 Jan 26 18:46, you wrote to ARELOR:

If YT and other services are to be believed, there are several women
out there who are into canning veggies and other homesteading
activities. I suspect that all of them are also married already,
though. ;)

There's many women out there but depends on where you live as to the quantity.

-- Sean

... Jargon is used as a means of succeeding by not simplifying.
--- GoldED+/LNX 1.1.5-b20240209
* Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)

Eventually, we all muse about the meaning of life - and the pursuit of money

>at the expense of fostering close relationships is pretty low for most. The
>paths we take and how we get there is different for each of us.

In my experience, that money is the biggest attractor of females but
often the work ethic that gave him that money eventually destroys
the relationship (or marriage) because he doesn't have the time to
pay enough attention to her.
(Assuming we aren't talking about millionaires)

I ran into that a lot when I was younger. I had a house by the time
I was 21 which was a big attractor, but working 2 or 3 jobs to pay
the bills cuts into the 'fun time' a lot..

Then they divorce you and get half that money to blow..

My ex originally showed up with a suitcase of clothes and a
box of books.. and 5 years later she left with enough money
to buy a new car and a house.
(And 2 years later she was virtually penniless.)

A gf is not marriage. The expenses are easier controlled in a non-committed

>relationships. If the cost gets excessive (which would actually be the guy's
>fault, not the girl's) ..you can just dump the person.

I went that route once too, live in GF.. She didn't cause too much fuss
when she left but she did take a car and most of my furniture with her.
She did contribute some money to things, but she could never hold down
a job for more than a couple of months.. Wicked temper.. B)

---
* SLMR Rob * Psychic Convention cancelled due to unforeseen problems
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

I can understand that. Way back before it was all online I tried out
a dating service, and they hooked me up with such totally wrong women

I was an avid hiker, often riding a motorcycle many miles to areas
with good hiking trails and then walk 10 or 15 miles on a Saturday.
..and the first woman they hooked me up with had major back problems
and could barely walk across the parking lot.

I'm surprised that they got the "match" wrong especially when you

>mentioned those "avid" outdoor activities.

I think they had a lot more males using the service than females and
they were just cycling through them without really matching properly.

The second lady I picked up in an older car in good shape for a
daytime drink meeting and she, seeing my car, very quickly let me
know that she was looking for someone who could buy her a house
and take care of her, so she didn't want to 'waste her time'..

Was she so bold as to say "waste her time"?

Probably more like there was no point in us dating.

Let's face it, first dates, first impressions, *do* make a difference.

>Maybe you should have rented a vehicle! <g>

I was just as happy to find out she was just looking for money, not
even willing to spend the time to get to know a person.

Anyway.. looks like you weren't a

>keeper for your own sake, and your vehicle betrayed you! :D

What? I'm not pretty enough to attract women without using money
as bait? B)

So.. did you even have drinks and a worthwhile chat together?

I don't think we spent 20 minutes together, just long enough to
finish one drink. Neither of us wanted to waste our time, both
of us for different reasons..

We just met in the afternoon, it wasn't a dinner date. (Her idea)

---
* SLMR Rob * Is fire supposed to shoot out of it like that?
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)

Well, the point is if you DO try to bend your life around a
girlfriend, you are likely to end up without the girlfriend plus all
the resources you poured into the relationship. This is not me saying
it, it is me noticing what happens to people around me.

You still have to put your needs first even if in a relationship.

You can't ignore your needs but any relationship that is going to
last requires some compromise from both.

i.e. Generally speaking I am too 'frugal' for most women's taste,
so I have to grit my teeth and spend (waste?) more money on various
things than I would if it were just me.

Money does not bring happyness but if you are gonna cry,

>it is much better to cry in a Ferrari.

True.

Money is a funny thing. It's interesting to see what someone will
do if you gave them $10,000.. and compare that to what they would
do if you gave them $250,000.

I might treat myself if I come into some extra money, but if I
get a lot of money I would likely not spend ANY of it. It would
all go into investments because that larger amount can make a
big difference in retirement income but a small amount would
have very little affect..

That's from an older person's perspective. If you're young the
larger amount may be going towards buying a house or something
if the person is at all practical.

---
* SLMR Rob * Smoke may indicate you have passed maximum performance
* Origin: Capitol City Online (618:250/1)