• Funny op-ed

    From digimaus@618:618/1 to All on Thu Dec 12 16:44:46 2024
    [ LOL! ]

    From: https://shorturl.at/xi0Di (dailycaller.com)

    ===
    HART: The New American Dream - To Be A Stay-At-Home Federal Agent

    OPINION
    Ron Hart
    December 11, 2024 11:37 AM ET

    Note: This article contains satirical elements.

    Joe Biden pardoned his son (who he says did nothing wrong) for sins going
    back over 10 years. Hunter has apparently not been doing anything wrong
    for a long time.

    Then Joe Biden jetted off to Africa, presumably to see about the money he
    sent to that Nigerian prince after hearing that he was wronged on an
    email.

    When Joe returned, he checked to see if Hunter needed any more pardons for
    crimes he committed while "the big guy" was gone. Hearing of none, he got
    back to business as usual: shoveling taxpayer money out the door to NGOs
    that will give it back to the Democrat Party in nefarious ways.

    The Democrats are also sending more money to Ukraine and/or any war that
    pleases the defense industry. Leaving no doubt, the fully funded
    Raytheon/Lockheed Joe Biden Presidential Library and Memory Care Center
    will be opening in Delaware in 2025.

    The Clinton Presidential Library appropriately features a stripper pole
    and a two-drink minimum. The Biden Presidential Library will make sense,
    too: none of the elevators will go to the top floor.

    Having just returned from an event in Washington, D.C., I can tell you
    that the atmosphere there is odd. Entrenched bureaucrats know a new
    sheriff is coming to town. I would love to own a paper shredding company
    in D.C. now.

    Buildings remain empty. D.C. is dead. Even today only 6% of federal
    workers report in person on a full-time basis. So, 94% are still "remote."
    This shows how important their jobs are. In our next war, our military
    generals and soldiers plan on ham-handedly interfering with the affairs of
    another country entirely from home. FBI management has been forced to plan
    the next three Trump assassination attempts from home via Zoom.

    Do not worry. The FBI and NSA can still monitor all of us. And just a
    favor, NSA: I Ubered home loaded the other night and misplaced my car
    keys. Where did I put them?

    The feds were able to leak to The New York Times an email from Pete
    Hegseth's mother from 2018 they just happened to have. But there is still
    no word on the Epstein Island list of Democrat pedophiles. It is the only
    secure document in D.C.

    Kash Patel should help straighten out a lot of this when he heads the FBI.
    He got his name because he never uses credit cards.

    The feds are crawling all over monitoring us. The authorities have so many
    pictures of Luigi Mangione, who murdered the CEO of United Healthcare,
    that they seem to have done a photo shoot in NYC. His Netflix bio pic
    shots are almost complete. All that is left is tying him to the Republican
    Party.

    New York officials did not have Luigi on their suspect list. He was caught
    in a small town in Pennsylvania, identified by an ordinary citizen at a
    McDonald's. Burger King responded with an ad: Burger King, we don't
    snitch.

    NYC's Alvin Bragg, Letitia James, and our feds are sending a very stern
    and clear signal to New York murderers: you can come here, shoot a man in
    front of witnesses and cameras, and flirt with our hotel desk clerks. And
    you must eventually skedaddle out of town, Mister, but not before you rent
    a bike and visit Central Park and then wait at the Port Authority Bus
    Station for a long time.

    Just don't borrow money from one of our banks 20 years ago and pay it back
    on time with interest. Nor even think about protecting subway riders by
    holding a man down who is threatening passengers. You will be dragged
    through an expensive trial. New York takes that seriously.

    If you are an illegal alien in New York and rob or assault someone, there
    could be severe consequences! You could be asked to pay for your own
    mini-bar charges at the Roosevelt Hotel, and you will only get a coach
    airline ticket to your next sanctuary city.

    The privileged kid who shot the healthcare CEO is an all-too-familiar
    story. Granddad made a lot of money; Luigi is third generation entrusted
    to liberal elite prep schooling and then the Ivy League, where he was
    indoctrinated with a left-wing hatred for capitalism and a sense of
    entitlement.

    Luigi modeled himself after another Ivy League killer, Ted Kaczynski (the
    "Unabomber"), who died in 2023. The Unabomber's estate is still not
    settled because no one will unseal his Will.
    ===

    -- Sean

    --- MultiMail/Linux
    * Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)
  • From Mike Powell@618:250/1 to DIGIMAUS on Fri Dec 13 10:49:00 2024
    Buildings remain empty. D.C. is dead. Even today only 6% of federal
    workers report in person on a full-time basis. So, 94% are still "remote."
    This shows how important their jobs are. In our next war, our military
    generals and soldiers plan on ham-handedly interfering with the affairs of
    another country entirely from home. FBI management has been forced to plan
    the next three Trump assassination attempts from home via Zoom.

    There is some irony here. A lot of warfare these days is done from remote
    with drones. ;)


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  • From digimaus@618:618/1 to Mike Powell on Fri Dec 13 13:43:21 2024
    Mike Powell wrote to DIGIMAUS <=-

    There is some irony here. A lot of warfare these days is done from
    remote with drones. ;)

    I remember when I was in the Army in the late 90s there were trying to make that a reality.

    -- Sean

    ... Does a clean house show that there's a broken computer?
    --- MultiMail/Linux
    * Origin: Outpost BBS * Johnson City, TN (618:618/1)