Fun stuff which is also ecudative (sort of). :-)

==================
Grammar in the Bar
==================

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliche walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

An anacoluthon walks into the bar is open till midnight.

Into a bar, a hyperbaton walks.

A subordinate clause that walks into a bar.

A tautology walks into a bar on foot.

A zeugma walks into a bar and an argument.

A synecdoche walks into a well-known pub chain.

A solecism walk into a bar.

A metathesis walks into a bra.

An archaism walketh into an alehouse.

A periphrasis locomotes bipedally into an establishment licensed to serve alcoholic beverages.

A group of homophones wok inn two a bar.

An aposiopesis walks into a -- well, you know the sort of thing.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

__________
Disclaimer

These jokes were found on Diaspora by Alexandre Oliva in 2020. They had swarmed around the web for several years and probably have numerous authors. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on them.


... Wed, 13 Mar 2024, 15:27 +0400
--- End of message. Confused? Me too! :-)
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Gleb Hlebov:

Fun stuff which is also ecudative (sort of). :-)

Here are some I collected in alt.usage.english (in UTF-8):

(1) [Eric K. Auld] A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a
drink and then leaves.

(2) [Eric K. Auld] A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After
finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

(3) [Eric K. Auld] A question mark walks into a bar?

(4) [Eric K. Auld] Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.

(5) [Eric K. Auld] A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar,
planning to drink.

(6) [Eric K. Auld] The bar was walked into by the passive
voice.

(7) [Eric K. Auld] Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar.
They sit. They drink. They leave.

(8) [James Hogg] A metathesis walks into a bra

(-) [franzi] (Then it must have been in its cups)

(9) [Alan Curry] A greengrocer walk's into a bar.

(10) [MC] A spoonerism balks into a war.

(-) [Joe Fineman] After starring in the band for a while, he
droops himself into a stinker.

(11) [Iain Archer] An en dashes into a barn.

(-) [Peter Brooks] That's nice, but it looks as if it's
dashing out, rather than into it. An en would dash into a
nbar, but we'd not know where it was.

(12) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A colon walks into a bar and
evacuates.

(13) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] An exclamation point walks into a
bar!

(14) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] An umlaut walks into a bär.

(15) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A hyphen walks in-to a bar.

(16) [R H Draney] Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus
walks into a bar.

(17) [MC] An alliteration ambles into an alehouse.

(18) [MC] A paraprosdokian walks into a bar. Of soap.

(19) [MC] A prozeugma walks into a bar, a fight, a fist, a wall
and a hospital.

(20) [MC] A snowclone walks into the mother of all bars.

(21) [Mark Brader] A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).

(22) [Mark Brader] A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.

(23) [Mark Brader] A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.

(24) [Mark Brader] A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick
wall.

(25) [Isabelle Cecchini] A hypallage walks into a topless bar.

(26) [James Hogg] A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn

(-) [James Hogg] And the surly innkeeper said:

A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.

(27) [Sproz] omg a TnAjrrr wks n2 a bar

(28) [Anton Shepelev] The double negative didn't walk into no
bar.

(29) [CT] The reflexive pronoun walked into the bar itself.

(30) [Iain Archer] The missing vinculum was last seen walking
into a bar.

(31) [Anton Shepelev] A reclusive verb walked into the bar and
barred the door.

(32) [Jerry Friedman] An anacoluthon walks into a bar, is how
this joke starts.

(33) [Jerry Friedman] An aposiopesis walks into a...

(34) [Jerry Friedman] I'm not even going to tell you how a
paraleipsis walks into a bar.

(35) [Jerry Friedman] A surrealist walks into a bar papered
with snowflakes and lightly browned in snake oil.

(36) [Jerry Friedman] A man de habla Spanglish camina into a
cantina.

(37) [Jerry Friedman] Un chevreau dans un Francais classe
marche dans a une barre.

(38) [Jerry Friedman] Miss Thistlebottom walks into a bar and
asks whomever works there quickly to serve her a mug of
beer.

(39) [Jerry Friedman] An eggcorn walks enter a bar.

(40) [Jerry Friedman] A non-rhotic man walks into a bah.

(41) [Jerry Friedman] Davy Crockett walks into a b'ar.

(42) [J.J. Lodder] Dirac walks into h bar.

(43) [CT] A double-entendre walks into a bar and asks for a
beer. So the barman gives him one.

(44) [James Hogg] Sometimes the man walks into the bar, and
sometimes the bar walks into the man, Dude.

(45) [MC] A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender
says, "Why the long face?"

(46) [James Hogg] Walking into a bar, the man behind the bar
was surprised to see a dangling participle.

(47) [musika] A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but
doesn't go in.

(48) [MC] An ellipsis...bar.

(49) [musika] A superlative goes into a bar none.

(50) [MC] A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.

(51) [Robin Bignall] Standing at the door of a bar, a full stop
does nothing, even after a period.

(52) [David Hatunen] A termite walks into a bar and loudly
asks, "Where's the bartender?"

(53) [Anton Shepelev] A paradox walked into a bar but didn't
drink.

(54) [Anton Shepelev] An antonym walked out of the bar and
headed for the theatre.

(55) [MC] An anastrophe bar a into walks.

(56) [MC] An epanalepsis walks into a bar, does an epanalepsis.

(57) [MC] Essex man walks into a bar innit.

(58) [Jerry Friedman] A poet walks into a bar.

A metaphor, friends, is a star.
It always sounds neater
In anapest meter,
And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar.

(59) [David Kaye] An assibilation walkssss into a bar.

(60) [David Kaye] A symantic walks into a bar, wondering what
it means.

(61) [James Hogg] A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into
a bar.

(62) [James Hogg] 0.98697 standard atmosphere walks into a bar.

(63) [Mike Lyle] ? would heron stone walk into a bar

(64) [musika] .only if it was irony

(65) [Peter Duncanson] An official government barometer walks
into a bar, makes a measurement and asks to see the
manager. Manager arrives. Government barometer says "Your
bar is set too high".

(66) [MC] Celine Dion walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why
the long face?"

(67) [Jerry Friedman] Another poet walks into a bar and says,
"May there be no moaning."

(68) [Jerry Friedman] It's a cleft sentence that walks into a
bar.

(69) [R H Draney] Mrs Malaprop tergiversates into a bar.

(70) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A dyslexic walks into a rab.

(71) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].

(72) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A ROT13 user walks into a one.

(73) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-
ba-ba-bar.

(74) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A telegrapher walks into a
-··· ·- ·-· .

(75) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A German walks into an
Alkoholausschankabendlokal.

(76) [James Hogg] Roget walks into a canteen, restaurant,
rôtisserie, cafeteria, grill-room, buffet, café, estaminet,
posada, bodega, bar, saloon, speakeasy, shebeen.

(77) [J.J. Lodder] Et, and all his al., overran a bar.

(78) [R H Draney] Rod Speed claims to walk into a bar. Good
luck trying to establish that.

(-) [R H Draney] It refers to a troll who was hanging around
these parts while the list was being compiled...his answer
to every point was the same:

Other poster: I have a pair of brown shoes.
Rod: You go right on believing that. Good luck trying to
prove it.

(79) [Athel Cornish-Bowden] A Greek walks into a mpar.

(-) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman] Great minds run in small circles!
I had this one also on my list but forgot to post it.
mpummer! ntamn!

(80) [Athel Cornish-Bowden] An Afghan doesn't walk into a bar.

(81) [James Hogg] A ram-raider drives into a bar.

(82) [Leslie Danks] Able was I ere I walked into el bar.

(83) [musika] A sheep walks into a ba-ba bar.

(84) [musika] A Beachboy walks into a ba-ba-bar ba-ba-ba-ran.

(85) [musika] A Beachboy ran into a ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba.

(86) [Percival P. Cassidy] A Welshman walks into a bar, isn't
it?

(87) [Peter Duncanson] The Beach Boys walk into a bar and start
singing. They are ejected and barred for life after the
first verse of their song:

A Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann

(88) [Mike Lyle] If a protasis walked into a bar, an apodosis
would follow it.

(89) [John Dunlop] A bar is what the pseudo-cleft walked into.

(90) [John Dunlop] One does not simply walk into a bar.

(91) [John Dunlop] A musician segues into a bar.

(92) [MC] A Canadian walks into a bar, eh?

(93) [Anton Shepelev] An indirect complement walks into the
bar.

(94) [Anton Shepelev] A transitive verb walks the bar.

(95) [Anton Shepelev] An exclamation mark walks into the bar
but gets so drunk it melts into a question mark. (idea not
mine)

(96) [Anton Shepelev] An old-fashioned programmer GOes TO the
bar.

(97) [Anton Shepelev] An assembly programmer unconditionally
JMPs into the bar.

(98) [CT] A 13 year-old Jewish boy walks into a bar mitzvah.

(99) [John Dunlop] A periphrasis will walk into a bar.

(100)[John Dunlop] They walk into a bar, the right dislocation
and the cataphora.

(101)[John Dunlop] The left dislocation and the anaphora, they
walk into a bar too.

(102)[John Dunlop] A Scotsman walks into a bar, so he does.

(103)[John Dunlop] A Scotsman walks out of a bar.

(-) [Mike Lyle] Gosh! You're right: it _is_ almost panto
season.

(104)[Sproz] A programmer walks into foo bar.

(105)[MC] A lawyer is thrown out of... Er, is disbarred.

(106)[bob] Sometime after a lawyer is called to the bar.

(107)[Robin Bignall] A minuscule walked into a bar and nobody
noticed.

(108)[R H Draney] An OOP developer defines a Bar class with a
WalksInto method and everything else just sort of happens
by itself.

(109)[Sproz]
foo = new bar();
foo.walksInto(new oopProgrammer);

(110)[R H Draney] (after Laura proposed to preserve this thread
for posterity) Laura Spira walked right into a bar and
drove the shadows away.

(111)[Laura Spira] For factual accuracy, your entry should
read: Laura Spira walked into a bar and asked for anything
with a Glen in it.

(-) [Duggy] Best thread bar none.

(112)[Isabelle Cecchini] A Cockney walks into a Jack.

(113)[Isabelle Cecchini] The Cockney walks into a Jack because
it's 'appy Hhhour.

(114)[Alan Mackenzie] An eszet walks into a ssar.

(115)[occam] A split infinitive decides to boldly walk into a
bar.

(116)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A dyslexic rabbi walks into a bar
and yells "Yo!"

(117)[Robin Bignall] A dirty old man sidles up to a bra and
claims dyslexia.

(118)[Percival P. Cassidy] An anacoluthon walks into -- I saw
him enter the bar.

(119)[Percival P. Cassidy] A paradiplosis walks into a bar,
walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink.

(120)[R H Draney] An anagram talks a rainbow.

(121)[MC] Another anagram awaits lob rank, bows a rank tail,
irks a law baton, knits a bawl oar, knobs a rat wail, riots
a lab wank, rows anal batik, wanks labia rot and wants
koala rib.

(122)[David D S] Equivocation walks into a bar. Ouch!

(123)[Robin Bignall] A paraprosdokian walks into a bar, trips,
and gets beamed up by Scotty.

(124)[Frank S] My friend the shape-shifter was walking down the
street when he turned into a bar.

(125)[Jerry Friedman] "Bar walks into man" is news.

(126)[Mark Brader] Two crotchets walk into a bar. They start
waltzing, but then they need to rest.

(127)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] (about the compiler of this
collection) Anton walked into a mess of bar jokes and
organized them.

(128)[MC] Davy Crockett walked into a bar and kilt 'im when he
was only three.

(129)[Evan Kirshenbaum] (idea by LalitaZ) Into a bar Yoda
walks.

(130)[Percival P. Cassidy] A Hindi speaker walks a bar into.

(131)[Evan Kirshenbaum] A psych experiment walks into a bar.

(132)[Christian Weisgerber] Walks a German into a bar.

(133)[Christian Weisgerber] Kommt ein Deutscher in eine Bar.

(134)[Evan Kirshenbaum] (walks-into s-expression bar)

(135)[Evan Kirshenbaum] stack-machine bar walks-into

(136)[glasshouse510] A reverse Pole a bar walks into.

(137)[Dr Peter Young] Is that Forth for: Bar a into walks
man a?

(138)[Evan Kirshenbaum] No, in Forth it would be: man a bar a
into walks

(139)[Mark Brader] (Inspired by a suggestion from Steve Summit)
walk foo > bar

(140)[Nancy Friedman] A clumsy ballerina walks into a barre.

(141)[Tom] A subject and a verb disagrees about which bar to
walk into.

(142)[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

(143)[Tom] A pleonasm enters into a bar.

(144)[Tom] The subjunctive would walk into a bar, were it in
the mood.

(145)[Tom] A hyphen, drunk after leaving the bar, mistakenly
walks-into a phrasal verb.

(146)[Tom] A colon and a semicolon walk into a bar: the colon
has a gutful; the semicolon orders a half.

(147)[Tom] A syllepsis walks out on its wife and into a bar.

(148)[Tom] A gang of commas walk into a bar and order
everything on the menu.

(149)[Tom] A prescriptivist walks into a tavern, because of
course 'bar' means the counter at which drink is served
rather than the establishment itself. He wonders why
nobody else is there.

(150)[Tom] A meaning walks into a bar and orders a double.

(151)[Tom] A portmanteau walks into a barmaid.

(152)[Duchesse] An ampersand walks into a Bar & Grill.

(153)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] · · ·
A blind person walks into a · ·· .
·

(154)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] .rab a otni sklaw weJ A

(155)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] As edited by Peter Young:

r. s e
a k s
b l e
a n
a w i
h
o n C
t a
n m A
i

(156)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman] A Russian walks into a 6ap.

(157)[Anton Shepelev] A Ukrainian walks into a shinok.

(158)[Sproz] A palindrome walks into a bar wearing a dull hat.
The barman says "a man, a plan, a bar - a banal panama".

(-) [Athel Cornish-Bowden] This is from Geoff Pullum at
Language Log: "The past, the present, and the future walked
into a bar. It was tense."

(159)[occam] The past, the present, and the future walked into
a bar. 'Time gentlemen please' said the barman.

(160)[occam] The past, the present, and the future walked into
a bar. They just missed each other.

(161)[Helen Lacedaemonian] The past, the present, and the
future walked into a bar. One drank until he fell down, the
second is the designated driver, and the third will be
stuck with the bill.

(162)[Helen Lacedaemonian] The past, the present, and the
future walked into a bar on Christmas. "What the dickens?"
said the bartender. "You missed last call. No more spirits
will be served tonight."

(163)[James Hogg] The historic present walks into a bar.

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Anton Shepelev!
I read your message from 28.04.2024 19:36

(142)[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No comma in Oxford in the list before "and".

Bye, Anton!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi Anton,

Sun 28 Apr 2024 at 22:36, you wrote to me:

Here are some I collected in alt.usage.english (in UTF-8):

Thanks for these!
There's a lot of good ones to levitate upon. :-)


... Have a Tex-Mex Emergency?? Dial Nine Juan Juan
--- A Damned Hobbyist 1.1.5-b20180707
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Alexander Koryagin to Anton Shepelev:

(142)[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No
comma in Oxford in the list before "and".

No, it is a genuine Oxford comma in mint condition, and I
use it in both English and Russian. All the items of an
enumeration shall be separated by commas lest the reader
mistake the last two items for one combined.

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Anton Shepelev!
I read your message from 09.05.2024 11:32

(142)[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No comma in
Oxford in the list before "and".

No, it is a genuine Oxford comma in mint condition, and I use it in
both English and Russian. All the items of an enumeration shall be separated by commas lest the reader mistake the last two items for
one combined.

What do they say in England? They say that in a list "and" is a substitute for a comma.

Read for instance https://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/comma/listing
and find commas before "and".

Bye, Anton!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi Alexander!

On 11.05.24, Alexander Koryagin wrote:

(142)[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No comma in
Oxford in the list before "and".

No, it is a genuine Oxford comma in mint condition, and I use it in
both English and Russian. All the items of an enumeration shall be separated by commas lest the reader mistake the last two items for
one combined.

What do they say in England? They say that in a list "and" is a substitute for a comma.
Read for instance https://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/comma/listing
and find commas before "and".

American English punctuation varies slightly from that in the UK -- that's not news to us.
And you're not expecting American IT folks say "informatics", are you? :-)


--
"To iterate is human, to recurse divine." -- L. Peter Deutsch
--- InterSquish NNTP Server/FTN Gate
* Origin: www.wfido.ru (2:5023/24.4222)

Hi, Gleb Hlebov!
I read your message from 12.05.2024 03:05

and find commas before "and".

American English punctuation varies slightly from that in the
UK -- ??that's not news to us.
And you're not expecting American IT folks say "informatics",
are you? :-)

Yes, but I was slightly confused when read about "Oxford comma".

Bye, Gleb!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi Alexander,

Mon 13 May 2024 at 12:17, you wrote to me:

American English punctuation varies slightly from that in the
UK -- ??that's not news to us.
And you're not expecting American IT folks say "informatics",
are you? :-)

Yes, but I was slightly confused when read about "Oxford comma".

What's funny is that it is also called "Harvard comma", so yes, it could be a yankee's comma too if you like.

In a nutshell,
======
Usage of the serial comma varies among writers and editors and also varies among the regional varieties of English. British English allows both the inclusion and omission of this comma, whereas in American English the comma is common and even considered mandatory by several style guides, with the APA style, The Chicago Manual of Style, Garner's Modern American Usage, Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, and the U.S. Government Printing Office Style Manual either recommending or requiring it. (../wiki/Serial_comma)
======


... Look for the ridiculous in everything and you'll find it
--- A Damned Hobbyist 1.1.5-b20180707
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Hi, Gleb -- on May 13 2024 at 16:37, you wrote:

@REPLY: 2:221/6.0 6641da96
@MSGID: 2:5023/24.4222 664209a0
@CHRS: CP866 2
@TZUTC: 0400
@TID: hpt/w64-mvcdll 1.9 2024-03-02
Hi Alexander,

Mon 13 May 2024 at 12:17, you wrote to me:

American English punctuation varies slightly from that in the
UK -- ??that's not news to us.
And you're not expecting American IT folks say "informatics",
are you? :-)

Yes, but I was slightly confused when read about "Oxford comma".

What's funny is that it is also called "Harvard comma", so yes, it
could be a yankee's comma too if you like.

In a nutshell,
======
Usage of the serial comma varies among writers and editors and also
varies among the regional varieties of English. British English
allows both the inclusion and omission of this comma, whereas in
American English the comma is common and even considered mandatory
by several style guides, with the APA style, The Chicago Manual of
Style, Garner's Modern American Usage, Strunk and White's The
Elements of Style, and the U.S. Government Printing Office Style
Manual either recommending or requiring it. (../wiki/Serial_comma)
======

... Look for the ridiculous in everything and you'll find it --- A
Damned Hobbyist 1.1.5-b20180707
- Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)
@EEN-BY: 1/120 18/0 50/109 116/116 123/0 25 126 180 200 755 3001 135/115 @EEN-BY: 138/146 153/757 7715 154/10 221/6 222/2 229/426 240/1120
250/1 25
@EEN-BY: 261/38 275/100 1000 301/1 342/11 450/1024 463/68 467/888
712/1321
@EEN-BY: 3634/0 12 12 27 56 57 5000/111 5001/100 5005/49 5015/42 46 255 @EEN-BY: 5019/40 5020/570 715 830 846 1042 4441 5022/2 5023/12 24
5030/49
@EEN-BY: 5034/13 5053/51 5054/8 5058/104 5060/900 5061/15 133 5075/128 @EEN-BY: 5083/1 444 6035/3
@ATH: 5023/24 5020/715 1042 3634/12 153/7715

Cheers... Dallas

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: The BandMaster, Vancouver, CANADA (1:153/7715)

Hi, Anton! Recently you wrote in a message to Alexander Koryagin:

[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No
comma in Oxford in the list before "and".

No, it is a genuine Oxford comma in mint condition, and I
use it in both English and Russian. All the items of an
enumeration shall be separated by commas lest the reader
mistake the last two items for one combined.

Nicely put. I use the Oxford comma for the same reason.

I'm interested to hear that one can also employ it in Russian.... :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Hi Dallas,

Thu 16 May 2024 at 13:04, you wrote to me:

[...]

Sounds like a good idea!

p.s.:
How are you Dallas? -- or
How are you, Dallas?

Comma or none?


... Just an amoeba in the Petri dish of life
--- A Damned Hobbyist 1.1.5-b20180707
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Ardith Hinton:

I use the Oxford comma for the same reason. I'm
interested to hear that one can also employ it in
Russian.... :-

And who shall stop me, even if I be the first & last person
on Earth to use the Oxford commad in Russian?

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Gleb -- on May 17 2024 at 10:23, you wrote:

p.s.:
How are you Dallas? -- or
How are you, Dallas?

Comma or none?

Oh yes, the comma is needed, imo. Otherwise the first example could be read as: How! Are you Dallas?
:-)

Cheers... Dallas

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: The BandMaster, Vancouver, CANADA (1:153/7715)

Hi, Dallas! Recently you wrote in a message to Gleb Hlebov:

p.s.:
How are you Dallas? -- or
How are you, Dallas?

Comma or none?

Oh yes, the comma is needed, imo. Otherwise the first example could
be read as: How! Are you Dallas?
:-)

Or Gleb might be unaware that there are two different people with the same surname posting from different node numbers in +/- the same area.

From a grammatical standpoint I presume what he needs to know is that in English the comma is used with the vocative... e.g.

Honey, we need to talk about our relationship.

I said as much, you twit, the last time you asked.

I will be yours forever, Gerald (or Geraldine).


My initial reaction was that he had not expected to hear from you too.... :-))




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Hi Ardith,

Mon 20 May 2024 at 23:52, you wrote to Dallas Hinton:

p.s.:
How are you Dallas? -- or
How are you, Dallas?
Comma or none?

Oh yes, the comma is needed, imo. Otherwise the first example
could be read as: How! Are you Dallas?
:-)

From a grammatical standpoint I presume what he needs to know is that
in English the comma is used with the vocative... e.g.

Thanks. Of that, me knows now. :-)

My initial reaction was that he had not expected to hear from you
too.... :-))

There happened to be an "accidental" message from Dallas with nothing but a full-quoted earlier message from me, and I chose to respond, because -- why not?


--- Perpetual Bachelor+ 1.1.5
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Hi, Gleb -- on May 22 2024 at 11:44, you wrote:

There happened to be an "accidental" message from Dallas with
nothing but a full-quoted earlier message from me, and I chose to
respond, because -- why not?

I don't recall the details, but I suspect my finger slipped and I posted without realizing I'd no content! Sorry about that!


Cheers... Dallas

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: The BandMaster, Vancouver, CANADA (1:153/7715)

Hi Dallas,

Wed 22 May 2024 at 14:50, you wrote to me:

There happened to be an "accidental" message from Dallas with
nothing but a full-quoted earlier message from me, and I chose to
respond, because -- why not?

I don't recall the details, but I suspect my finger slipped and I
posted without realizing I'd no content! Sorry about that!

Nothing to be sorry about! It's just electronic massaging. :-)


... Consistency, Dallas, is the last refuge of the tedious
--- A Damned Hobbyist+ 1.1.5
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Hi, Gleb -- on May 24 2024 at 11:47, you wrote:

Nothing to be sorry about! It's just electronic massaging. :-)

:-)


Cheers... Dallas

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: The BandMaster, Vancouver, CANADA (1:153/7715)

Hi, Ardith Hinton!
I read your message from 17.05.2024 00:28

[Tom] An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.

Tom's comma is probably also a yankee's comma. ;-) No
comma in Oxford in the list before "and".

No, it is a genuine Oxford comma in mint condition, and I
use it in both English and Russian. All the items of an
enumeration shall be separated by commas lest the reader
mistake the last two items for one combined.

Nicely put. I use the Oxford comma for the same reason.

I'm interested to hear that one can also employ it in
Russian.... :-)

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that provides anything to make the understanding more clear. With the same success you can put "and" before every comma in the list. ;-)

Bye, Ardith!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Gleb Hlebov!
I read your message from 17.05.2024 06:23

Sounds like a good idea!

p.s.:
How are you Dallas? -- or
How are you, Dallas?

Comma or none?

How, are you Dallas?! ;-)


Bye, Gleb!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Alexander Koryagin:

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that
provides anything to make the understanding more clear.

Above I wrote /why/ the Oxford comma is necessary for the
clariy, unambiguity, and regularity of the enumeration.
You, on the other hand, do not disclose your arguments...

With the same success you canput "and" before every
comma in the list. ;-)

Don't you think it will make the list structure ugly and
redundant?

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Anton Shepelev!
I read your message from 04.06.2024 14:32

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that provides
nothing to make the understanding more clear.

Above I wrote /why/ the Oxford comma is necessary for the clariy, unambiguity, and regularity of the enumeration. You, on the other
hand, do not disclose your arguments...

I think that the main, core purpose to put a comma is highlighting a pause in speech. That is the comma was born. I.e. in general it is like a pause sign in musical score. We can easily imagine situation when people don't know how to write at all, but they can express themselves in a fine way. In the list a comma serves as a separator and "and" does the same role.

With the same success you canput "and" before every comma in the
list. ;-)

Don't you think it will make the list structure ugly and redundant?

Redundant mainly. You will do a thing twice. You can say even every word twice, but will it be helpful?

Bye, Anton!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Alexander Koryagin:

I think that the main, core purpose to put a comma is
highlighting a pause in speech. That is the comma was
born. I.e. in general it is like a pause sign in musical
score. We can easily imagine situation when people don't
know how to write at all, but they can express
themselves in a fine way.

I agree.

In the list a comma serves as a separator and "and" does
the same role.

As a conjunction, `and' also serves as glue, and the Oxford
comma is required to prevent the unintended gluing together
of the last two items.

---
* Origin: nntp://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Alexander! Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that
provides anything to make the understanding more clear.

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid confusion:

Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and a friend of
mine.

What is this friend's name, and is he a basketball player? I have no idea. I found the example in Wikipedia... I didn't personally invent it.


I asked for coffee with a breakfast of pancakes, bacon & eggs, hot buttered toast and hash brown potatoes.


At 5WPM I can type an added comma without having to fret about whether someone from ElseWhere will think I buttered the hash browns *after* they were cooked. For me it's easier to use the Oxford comma routinely in such a list than to go into detail about why buttering such things on the plate may not work.

If Denis asks I'll do the latter, but other folks may not care. :-Q



BTW, here's a joke Dallas found shortly before your message arrived:

I like cooking my family and my pets.
-- commas save lives

With the same success you can put "and" before every
comma in the list. ;-)

I suppose you could in many cases. But as Anton says, in English it is generally considered desirable to avoid unnecessary verbiage.... [chuckle].




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Hi, Alexander! Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid confusion:

Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and a friend of
mine.

What is this friend's name, and is he a basketball player? I have no idea.
I found the example in Wikipedia... I didn't personally invent it.

I asked for coffee with a breakfast of pancakes, bacon & eggs, hot buttered toast and hash brown potatoes.

At 5WPM I can type an added comma without having to fret about whether someone from ElseWhere will think I buttered the hash browns *after* they were cooked. For me it's easier to use the Oxford comma routinely in such a list than to go into detail about why buttering such things on the plate may not work.

If Denis asks I'll do the latter, but other folks may not care.
:-Q

BTW, here's a joke Dallas found shortly before your message arrived:

I like cooking my family and my pets.
-- commas save lives

I suppose you could in many cases. But as Anton says, in English it is generally considered desirable to avoid unnecessary verbiage.... [chuckle].

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

When I read Dallas's joke I thought about the phrase:
"Love your kids but belt them in the car."

Hmmm, should I had put a period after the ending quote mark?
Ed
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Linux
* Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

Hi, Ardith Hinton!
I read your message from 27.06.2024 03:06

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that provides
anything to make the understanding more clear.

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some
people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid confusion:

Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and a friend of
mine.

Are there three of them? ;-)
For me, this is not a list, but a sentence with the additional information, separated with a comma from the main clause. I believe that a _good_ list must consists of homogeneous items. Nobody can prohibit you, of course, to add to the list also a puddle, car, dog and a cat, but I think it will be rather a word game.

If we have a good list (of names, for instance) we would have:

Through the window I saw John, Peter and Paul, who staggered out from the pub.

What is this friend's name, and is he a basketball player? I have
no idea. I found the example in Wikipedia... I didn't personally
invent it.

As we say in Russia "Be simpler and people appreciate it". ;)

I asked for coffee with a breakfast of pancakes, bacon & eggs, hot buttered toast and hash brown potatoes.

Yeah, no comma before potatoes. ;)

At 5WPM I can type an added comma without having to fret about
whether someone from ElseWhere will think I buttered the hash
browns *after* they were cooked. For me it's easier to use the
Oxford comma routinely in such a list than to go into detail about
why buttering such things on the plate may not work.

Yes, I agreed it is not important in chats. It maybe there are some doubts when you translate something. Old Everett Hertenstein taught me that the main thing is to be consistent. ;-)

If Denis asks I'll do the latter, but other folks may not care. :-Q
BTW, here's a joke Dallas found shortly before your message
arrived:

I like cooking my family and my pets. -- commas save lives

The comma after "cooking" is a holy one, of course. ;) But not the one which could be before "my pets".

With the same success you can put "and" before every comma in the
list. ;-)

I suppose you could in many cases. But as Anton says, in English it
is generally considered desirable to avoid unnecessary verbiage.... [chuckle].

An unnecessary comma before "and" is good mainly because nobody pays any attention to it. ;-)

Bye, Ardith!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Ed Vance!
I read your message from 27.06.2024 15:25

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some
people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid
confusion: Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and
a friend of mine. What is this friend's name, and is he a
basketball player? I have no idea. I found the example in
Wikipedia... I didn't personally invent it. I asked for coffee
with a breakfast of pancakes, bacon & eggs, hot buttered toast and
hash brown potatoes. At 5WPM I can type an added comma without
having to fret about whether someone from ElseWhere will think I
buttered the hash browns *after* they were cooked. For me it's
easier to use the Oxford comma routinely in such a list than to go
into detail about why buttering such things on the plate may not
work. If Denis asks I'll do the latter, but other folks may not
care.: - Q BTW, here's a joke Dallas found shortly before your
message arrived: I like cooking my family and my pets. -- commas
save lives I suppose you could in many cases. But as Anton says,
in English it is generally considered desirable to avoid
unnecessary verbiage.... [chuckle].

When I read Dallas's joke I thought about the phrase: "Love your
kids but belt them in the car."

You can note, however, that when you speak such things you cannot put a comma at all. ;-)

Hmmm, should I had put a period after the ending quote mark?

I read that in the British English they put such a comma outside the quotation marks, but in the American English they are inside.

Bye, Ed!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Ed! Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

When I read Dallas's joke I thought about the phrase:
"Love your kids but belt them in the car."

Oh... now there's a wonderful example of how confusing some apparently short, simple words in English may be. Just for starters, are we being told we ought to beat up on our kids or just ensure their seat belts are fastened? :-Q

Hmmm, should I had put a period after the ending quote mark?

AFAIK your punctuation there is correct in American & Canadian English because you were apparently quoting an entire sentence. Although I may tend to do things a bit differently at times, I am a Canadian with ex-Brit roots. :-))




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Hi, Ed! Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

Oh... now there's a wonderful example of how confusing some apparently short, simple words in English may be. Just for starters, are we being told we ought to beat up on our kids or just ensure their seat belts are fastened? :-Q

Either.
It's humorous to my way of thinking.

AFAIK your punctuation there is correct in American & Canadian English because you were apparently quoting an entire sentence. Although I may tend to do things a bit differently at times, I am a Canadian with ex-Brit roots. :-))

I'm in Indiana, Kentucky is where I started out
Ed

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

--- SBBSecho 3.20-Linux
* Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

Hi Alexander,

Fri 28 Jun 2024 at 17:08, you wrote to Ardith Hinton:

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that
provides anything to make the understanding more clear.

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some
people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid
confusion:
Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and a friend
of mine.

Are there three of them? ;-)

Now that I'm reading it I indeed see 3 different persons.

If we have a good list (of names, for instance) we would have:
Through the window I saw John, Peter and Paul, who staggered out from
the pub.

Does "who" indicate all of them, or just Paul?


... End of message, Alexander. Confused? Me too! :-)
--- A Damned Hobbyist+ 1.1.5
* Origin: Microstuff, Inc. (2:5023/24.4222)

Hi, Gleb Hlebov!
I read your message from 01.07.2024 04:56

The comma before "and" is just an unnecessary thing that
provides anything to make the understanding more clear.

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and some
people recommend using it only when it's needed to avoid
confusion: Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and
a friend of mine.

Are there three of them? ;-)

Now that I'm reading it I indeed see 3 different persons.

;-)

If we have a good list (of names, for instance) we would have:
Through the window I saw John, Peter and Paul, who staggered out
from the pub.

Does "who" indicate all of them, or just Paul?

As the person who had seen it through the window ;) I can say that they were drunk all. And indeed, just think, If two of them were sober why on earth they had went to the pub? ;-)

Bye, Gleb!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)

Hi, Anton! Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

@MSGID: 2:221/6.0 664732c0
@REPLY: 1:153/716.0 646b4c40
@PID: SmapiNNTPd/Linux/IPv6 kco 20240505
@NOTE: Sylpheed 3.7.0 (GTK+ 2.24.30; i686-pc-mingw32)
@CHRS: CP437 1
@TZUTC: 0300
@TID: hpt/lnx 1.9 2024-03-02
Ardith Hinton:

I use the Oxford comma for the same reason. I'm
interested to hear that one can also employ it in
Russian.... :-

And who shall stop me, even if I be the first & last person
on Earth to use the Oxford commad in Russian?

Not I. As a teacher & as a native speaker of English I'll cheerfully adopt a good idea from anywhere, and I bow to your wisdom WRT Russian.... :-))

___
- Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)
@EEN-BY: 1/120 18/0 50/109 116/116 123/0 25 126 180 200 755 3001 135/115 @EEN-BY: 138/146 153/757 7715 154/10 10 218/840 221/1 6 360 222/2 229/426 @EEN-BY: 240/1120 250/1 25 261/38 275/100 1000 301/1 335/364 341/66 234 @EEN-BY: 342/11 450/1024 463/68 467/888 712/1321 3634/0 12 12 27 56 57 @EEN-BY: 5000/111 5001/100 5005/49 5015/42 46 5019/40 5020/715 830 846 1042 @EEN-BY: 5020/4441 5030/49 5053/51 5054/8 5058/104 5060/900 5061/133 @EEN-BY: 5075/128 5083/1 444
@ATH: 221/6 5020/1042 3634/12 153/7715

--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Ardith,
In rereading messages here I noticed the BBS's Name is Wits' End .

I was standing in line at a Church Supper, and telling a story to someone. Another person came up to me and asked if I was a member of the Wit family.
I said, No.
He said he thought my Name was either Half or Nit.

What could I say?
Ed
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Linux
* Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

I was standing in line at a Church Supper, and telling a story to someone. Another person came up to me and asked if I was a member of the Wit family.
I said, No.
He said he thought my Name was either Half or Nit.

I once asked a co-worker which was worse, a halfwit, dimwit, or nitwit.

He told me I was treading on thin ice. :D

Mike


* SLMR 2.1a * Small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Linux
* Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

Hi, Gleb! Recently you wrote in a message to Alexander Koryagin:

[WRT the "Oxford" or "Harvard" comma]:

It's a matter of style, not an absolute requirement, and
some people recommend using it only when it's needed to
avoid confusion:
Through the window I saw John, a basketball player and a
friend of mine.

Are there three of them? ;-)

Now that I'm reading it I indeed see 3 different persons.

Exactly my point... I can't be sure because I don't know the author.

If I were making introductions I might say "I'd like you to meet John, a basketball player (or a chemistry student or whatever else might interest you) and a neighbour of ours." This way you have some idea what the two of you might have in common. But if others use punctuation a bit too sparingly I have little evidence as to whether this person is simply offering further detail about John.

If we have a good list (of names, for instance) we would have:
Through the window I saw John, Peter and Paul, who staggered out
from the pub.

Does "who" indicate all of them, or just Paul?

Beats me. I'd suggest asking Alexander, as you did... [chuckle].

... End of message, Alexander. Confused? Me too! :-)

Uh-huh. So why not bother with an added comma which might help? :-))




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
* Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)

Hi, Ardith Hinton!
I read your message from 12.07.2024 23:30

If we have a good list (of names, for instance) we would have:
Through the window I saw John, Peter and Paul, who staggered out
from the pub.

Does "who" indicate all of them, or just Paul?

Beats me. I'd suggest asking Alexander, as you did... [chuckle].

Well, remove "who" and my comma will be perfect. ;-)

Bye, Ardith!
Alexander Koryagin
english_tutor 2024

---
* Origin: news://news.fidonet.fi (2:221/6.0)